styer_the_styler's Xanga

New Website

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 17:55:44 GMT

www.lorahandjustin.com

See you there!

Lorah Ray... (some would say Styer Ray) and life in CT

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 21:22:56 GMT

Recently I've been debating about xanga and whether or not I'll keep up with it. I must admit, I've given into facebook- it's taking over the world and I have spent more time posting pictures there. For writing, I favor xanga- so I'll sneak an update in every now and then and maybe write a story or two when feeling creative. I'm not sure who reads this anymore, but what the heck- I'll probably look back and read someday.

About MARRIED LIFE- it's great. Here are some things that go along with the wedded bliss:

Our town www.essexct.com Our church http://www.cmalliance.org/

I just looked at the website of Essex and the photography is great. Have a look around it, all the categories have amazing pictures. We are enjoying Essex, but I have to admit that this town can be quite humorous when it comes to finding identity in yachts, sail boats, bmw's, antique cars, khaki's (the salmon/pink color), and collared shirts. Don't forget your loafer boat shoes, expensive dogs, and golf clubs! Not that having these things are wrong- we just enjoy our 10 year old Hyundai and old rugged Jeep Wrangler, we don't have a huge colonial house on Main Street, but we do have a cute apartment on main- and for a great deal! We enjoy a good pair of jeans, we have a fish named Clapton, and we're thinking about making our own raft and sailing it down the Connecticut river.

About the church we go to, we're really enjoying it and we're probably going to start taking some membership classes. We've met quite a few 'young' couples there. Most of them have kids- they include us even though we're not getting started on 'that' yet. We'll probably be going to a small group starting in a few weeks... young parents, newly weds, singles.... so basically 20's and 30's.

Justin and I have also been playing some tennis (or attempting to play) on some courts just a short walk from our apartment (we're getting better!). We've also joined the local http://www.vsymca.org/daxFront.asp?ID=2 It's an incredible deal, and cheaper than the other gyms I looked at. Now we can work out, play racquetball, basketball, volleyball, swim, etc etc. I haven't actually committed myself to a normal routine yet- but we're paying for a monthly membership so I need to get my (growing) butt over there on a consistent basis. I've been gaining a little 'wedded weight.'

I've also been serving this organization http://www.love146.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=21460 by giving them free hair services. This includes some old friends from Mercy Ships. I'm also hoping to get involved a little more and maybe help out in the office now and then in New Haven. I really believe in what they do, watch the videos on their website.

Work is going well, cooking is still fun :), and this month I'm reading 'Power of a Praying Wife' so I can have some organized prayer for Justin every day, what a great book. Today I've committed myself to deep clean the apartment and do some laundry so I guess I better get started!

Married, May 24th 2008

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 19:43:22 GMT

more coming soon.

Crockpots, Pyrex, and Bath Towels- Oh My!!

Wed, 07 May 2008 02:39:13 GMT

It's shower time, what fun! My sister, Michelle, and friend, Erin, threw a great lil'party for me. Some highlights: friends, family, good food, and gifts that nearly furnish the rest of the apartment (especially the kitchen...Justin and I went from one rusty wok to a full set of T-fal pots and pans- YAY!)

Big sis and I nice spread

presents! (that were bigger than me)

games :) friends: Erin and Stacy

Justin made his appearance, and he packed the Jeep with all of our new goodies.

Now it's down to planning all the details and little things forgotten til now. It's time to have a bachelorette dinner, it's time to have out of town friends come in, it's time to get married! 18 days and counting.

NYC... strike number two

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 21:14:26 GMT

Last Thursday my friend Nicole and I drove a couple hours to the house of our other friend, Amanda, in Jersey. She scored some Rachael Ray tickets (to be in the audience of her hour long cooking/talk show). Maybe we'd get some prizes, meet famous people, eat some good food, and maybe get a few seconds on TV ;) The most important thing though of course, would be, to learn a new scrumptious recipe so we can go home and cook up a fabulous meal for our husbands and fiances....right??

After four of us gals met up at Amanda's we took the train into NYC. In the meantime we discussed how hard it was to pick out an outfit for the day. The RR show has a strict dress code...no sneakers, no flip flops, no torn jeans, not white or off white, nothing too busy, nothing sleeveless....and so on. Sounds easy, but it was a challenge for all of us. Besides, we were going to be walking from the train station to the show. Who wants to wear fancy shoes? Solution: flip flops on, fancy shoes in the purse.

On the way to the show we stopped for lunch in Bryant park...that didn't work out so well, the whole city and their moms come to eat at Bryant Park for lunch. I wondered if a park even existed there, I think there were more people than blades of grass. Instead we went to a sandwich shop across the street. It was a little chaotic, entering into a sea of people trying to order their salads and paninis cafeteria style. Nevertheless, mission accomplished.

After filling our bellies with food we walked down to 44th and got in line for the Rachael Ray show. We got there a half hour before the doors opened, but remained one of the last groups in line. After about 45 minutes of standing on the sidewalk, reapplying makeup and changing out the flip flops, we were told that the audience had reached its maximum capacity and about the last 20 people in line would be cut. That would include us... We were given a quick apology and Amanda was given VIP tickets to a show sometime in the next season. That means you'll get seated before anyone else...but maybe in a year or so.

We walked back toward the train without pitching a fit. We stopped at Jamba Juice and Starbucks on the way. Oh well, it was a good time with friends- we had fun and none of us were devastated to miss Rachael. If it were a U2 concert, that would be a completely different story, and I'd probably still be crying.

All this to say, this is strike number two for New York City. I hope it's blissful next time... but I'm not really in the mood to go back anytime soon.

My Flower Girls

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 02:06:58 GMT

Paige and Lisabeth... thrilled to wear 'princess dresses' and throw petals down the isle on May 24th.

"If we don't laugh, we'll cry" - The most unsuccessful weekend of our lives.

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 00:29:58 GMT

This was the reoccurring statement and theme of last weekend. Before Justin's two week work trip to Guam, we decided to meet at our half way point for a date in New York City. Doesn't a date in NYC sound fun?!

And so the story begins... What should be a 2 1/2 hour drive to city for me, turned into 3 1/2 hours and $18 dollars. Tolls added up and the very congested Lincoln tunnel costs $8 dollars for my little car to pass through. Justin's two hour drive turned into three as he crept past two accidents and hit rush hour traffic.

After entering into this very lively city, where you come close to hitting other cars or herds of pedestrians at every intersection, I found a parking spot on 48th. One hour later, and a half hour after our reservation time, Justin arrived at "Brazil Brazil" for dinner. In the mean time, I was patiently waiting - yet ready to order for the both of us- at "Brazil Grill," about two blocks away. I was under the impression that this was the place Justin made reservations. The hostess even accepted me under his name for 7pm. I guess she thought she was being nice by accepting this lonely girl and her made up, imaginary reservation. Well, thank goodness for cell phones. Justin found me at "Brazil Grill" and preferred it over "Brazil Brazil." We enjoyed dinner and live music. We hadn't brought anything or made preparations to stay the night, but by the time we were done eating it was 9pm, so we thought it'd be wise to stay instead of parting so soon and struggling with sleepiness on our three hours of driving home to CT and PA. We found a place to stay and a place to park until seven in the morning.

We woke up to a sunny morning, excited for a day in the city..... only to find that our cars had been towed at 7:07am. After getting directions from three different people (Justin and I interpreting each of them differently) and walking in circles for and hour and a half, we found the towing pier. Hungry, tired, and red from the chilling wind, we entered the office and took our seats among other sad losers- mostly from out of state, like ourselves. We sat in the 'unhappy room' thinking about how much money NYC makes off of countless towed cars per day. Besides, the violation ticket of $115 and the $185 for the tow (EACH)....that's $600 right there for the two of us. Yeah, $300 each. OUCH! We thought about how this may effect our honeymoon.

After the shock wore off a little, we left the gigantic warehouse of towed cars and decided to get out of the city. I followed Justin (insanely close to his bumper in order to not let people cut in). We headed to King's Point on Long Island... or so we thought. Instead, we ended up in New Jersey. At that point it was noon and we hadn't eaten, so we pulled into a Dunkin' Doughnuts....with no parking spots. Out of the D&D parking lot we went, and down another road, aimlessly, til we found a bagel shop (with available parking). We hugged and laughed- if not, we'd have cried. As we sat down with our bagels and coffee I dropped my sugar packets in my coffee. As they became soggy and useless I fought back anger and even a tear, instead, I sighed as I went back to the coffee bar to get more sugar.

At this point, we didn't feel it'd be wise to part ways for two weeks- what a frustrating note to say good bye on! Instead of driving home we decided I'd go back to our apartment (my future apartment!) in CT to rest and he'd leave the next morning for Guam. First, we had to find our way out of wherever we were in New Jersey. Why not get separated and lost for a half hour in the wrong direction? We certainly did. Finally, we found each other again and found the very promising George Washington Bridge and I-95 North. Two hours and heavy highway traffic later, we made it! But it's not over......

After leftovers for dinner we decided to walk to a peaceful park on the water near our house. It was beautiful until my stomach hollered and my intestines turned into a knot. It was the sudden "I feel like I'm gonna crap my pants" feeling. I ran/walked awkwardly home- each step feeling less hopeful. Justin ran ahead to open the doors and prepare the toilet (lifting the lid). I made it, barely. (I later found out that there were public bathrooms in the park- which I ran right past).

Before Justin left for his two week trip we needed to take care of some business- paying our rent that was due on Monday. So, at 7:30pm we drove to the small "town" of Killingworth to drop off our check at the office on Kelseytown Road. What could've been 20 minutes turned into an hour and a half of driving around in the dark, getting contradicting directions from about eight different people, to a road which (we started to feel convinced) must not exist! We gave up and decided that I'd try again the next day... in daylight hours and after a trip to the library to retrieve mapquest directions- (we're not online at the house yet).

We came back to our little home around 9pm. Justin packed for Guam and then we poured ourselves a glass of red wine. Thank goodness for laughing instead of crying and hugging instead of hating. Thank goodness for cell phones and public transportation, which we will ALWAYS take to New York City from now on.

Faces of the Africa Mercy- a tribute to friends all over the world.

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:15:23 GMT

I am now realizing that I could spend many more hours trying to upload more pictures of great people from my Mercy Ships experience, I'm really thankful for the cross cultural mix of people it brought into my life. Here are just a few...I may have to have round #2 sometime.

David, England Carlos, Brazil & Justin, USA

Lee, South Africa Esther, Ghana Anouchka, Switzerland Shayla,USA

Buck, USA Alberta, USA Nate,USA Scott,USA David, USA Karen & Keyara, USA&LiberiA Gabriela, Slovakia Kelly, USA Christine,South Africa Paul, England Lauren, South Africa

Jan and Ken, Germany Obele, Netherlands

Becca,USA Jay,USA

Tom,Canada Comfort & Gina, Ghana Nikki, Canada

Peter, Denmark Jette,Denmark

Christian, Netherlands (Holland) Kreig, USA Libby,

Liberia/England Stacy, USA Hannah, Sweden

Alek, Sweden Jen, USA Ben,

the bush of anywhere in the world and USA Naomi, USA Tom, Canada

All of us and a few hundred more all on one ship? That calls for good times... stay tuned for round #2 of faces from the AFM. Leave a comment if you see your face, I want to know how you are and where you are!

Furnishing Frenzy

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 19:16:09 GMT

This past weekend marked a historical event in Justin and I's lives. For the first time, for both of us, we are furnishing an apartment, our own little place. Essex, Connecticut was as charming as ever on my weekend visit, and it's getting even better as we make our little place 'home.' After some furniture deliveries from "Bob's" and a few trips to IKEA this is how it's coming along so far. We are loving it! It's getting harder to make the trip back to PA.... the apartment is becoming home, not to mention having to leave a wonderful fiance after a fun weekend! Have a little tour:

Our building (2nd floor) above a clothing and jewelry boutique.

Main Street, Essex (CT River at the end of the St.)

Main St. from the living room window

Up the the stairs to our.....

Green door! (this pic is especially for Amanda)

Living Room!

Dining Room

(part of) the Kitchen (wine bottles for decor...not what we drank over the weekend :)

The Bedroom (not finished yet)

The bathroom isn't terribly exciting... except for the funky shower curtain Justin picked out (above).

Hope you enjoyed checking out our little place!

Victoria

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 19:00:58 GMT

Victoria is a woman whose smile I will never forget. She has stunning eyes and beautiful brown skin- except for the parts that are leathery and callused from crawling on the floor. See, Victoria is from Liberia. She cannot walk. She is both physically and mentally handicapped. Her feet are turned in and her hands are kind of twisted, yet she is strong. She crawls, mainly with upper body strength and uses her speed and momentum to bring her legs forward as she goes.

Her knee hits the floor hard with each move- or what to her would be a step, as she crawls back the dark hall of the handicapped home. She is on her way to the bathroom, which is actually a dirty old shower room. She lays on her back on the floor of the room and attempts to pull down her shorts. More likely than not, they’re not down far enough and she crawls back to the community area soiled, yet moving along with her day.

Her clothes are picked from a musty pile, a pile of old worn out clothes that are also shared among the other men, women and children that are living with her. No underwear, no bra, maybe just some cotton shorts that are too small and an old t-shirt with holes and stains. Some of her teeth are missing, her head is shaved, and there is a deep scar on her forehead. She has one meal a day, maybe some fish in a bowl of rice. In a way, Victoria’s life sounds like that of a dog- but I see a beautiful woman.

Every Saturday morning she anxiously crawls to the porch as a Land Rover full of us from Mercy Ships, pulls into Cheshire Home for the Handicapped. She is beaming and her smile is radiant. As I greet her she firmly grips my hand and says “yeah,” which is one of maybe two or three words she can sound out. Saturday morning is the morning she gets to stay clean because I carry her to the bathroom, and maybe it’s when she gets some fresh new clothes from Mercy Ships. Today is the day she gets to use her imagination as she draws, colors, and sculpts with play-doh. Saturday morning is when she gets to use hand eye coordination as we toss a ball back and forth, and when we can turn on some music and a few light bulbs because we brought some gas for the generator. Saturday morning is when Victoria and I give each other back scratches and it’s when I give her a hand and arm massage with lotion that smells like flowers. I give her a ride in a wheel chair and then I pick her up and we dance. Her smile is stunning, she is a beautiful Liberian woman.

Victoria is probably close to my age, in her twenties. I can’t help but wonder about her life, about her story. I could imagine that Victoria’s birth mother had several other children- most likely to different fathers who are out of the picture. I could imagine that disease and/or malnutrition, maybe prolonged, complicated child birth gave Victoria birth defects and handicaps. I could imagine that around the age of one or two she was abandoned and left for dead in a dirty gutter, in a market place or on the street. She was discarded because of her handicaps, because she was different, perhaps thought to be cursed. Her young, overwhelmed, unemployed mother couldn't’t handle it.

Thanks to God someone found compassion and took her to the home for the handicapped in Monrovia, the capital city. Being in the city was a blessing and a curse at the same time. During most of her life, at least 15 years, Liberia was in a horrendous civil war- the capital being the most heated place of battle. During that time, she and many others around her could’ve came close to starving or dying of one of many sicknesses. Food would’ve been hard to get in this war zone. Water and electricity was probably scarce to none. I can hardly imagine her teen years- bullets whizzing through her building, explosions all around, screams and cries echoing through the streets. She could have been raped, she could’ve been beaten by gangs or rebel soldiers, young men…too young, on drugs, brain washed, and demented. I don’t know if these things are true, but I know it could very easily be a reality in her innocent life.

I wonder how I got to grow up in America and how I got to live on the big white ship- safe from the streets, three meals a day, and a bed to lay on at night. If my finger broke I could get medicine and therapy in an instant. Victoria didn’t receive any therapy for her handicaps, which are much more serious and severe. To this day, Liberia is still very fragile, but thank God the daily nightmare of chaotic civil war is over, hopefully forever. The air is till thick with suffering, dysfunction, and physical and mental wounds, but for me, Victoria’s smile shines and brakes through it all.

-In honor of Victoria. Til we meet again, maybe here on earth. If not, in heaven- can't wait to see you run and dance.